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silence has unrestricted suggestive potential

September 22, 2008

My big adventure today was a trip to the main branch library near all the government buildings on Larkin. It was beautiful and white and light and it made me happy just to walk into.  After a brief perusal I was summoned to the Pottery Barn in Castro where Chloe wanted me to meet her to buy some faux flowers for the “fatty vase” that I donated to the entryway.

This was the very same vase that was acquired a year ago at a garage sale conveniently located across the street from this one guy’s house who I wanted to invite to a party. The vase turned out to be the perfect segue into conversation with him and his roommate who were conveniently spending the day on their porch. He came to the party. Even though toward the end of the conversation, when it had started to get a little stale, and I should have just picked up my huge vase and pranced on down the street, I started talking jibberish about how I wanted to either A. put fish in the vase or B. fill it with mustard. The idea of decorative condiments seemed hilariously abstract at the time. It was in fact not at all abstract and actually totally retarded, as that brief relationship also turned out to be.

Anyway, back to Pottery Barn or “Potty Barn” as I had taken to calling it, and we’re looking at the vast selection of fake flowers. Chloe is selecting blossoms at lightening speed, and I’m getting a little drymouthed and shaky realizing that she’s holding over fifty dollars worth of fake flowers in her hands, and asking if we should get the cattails too.

Chloe has shockingly impeccable taste. She is not afraid to spend extra in order to do it right. I tend to balk at the thought of spending fifty dollars on fake flowers, especially after the whole locksmith debacle. Thankfully, she has agreed to keep a running tab for me that I can pay back when I get a job. I realize that I am already deep in debt to the Bank of Chloe where the only interest required is soul crushing guilt.

But she wants to get this apartment decorated and I appreciate her tenacity. Someone’s gotta have it. However, I think something about the dilation of my pupils at this point seemed to make her set down the flowers and decide instead on three bundles of blonde sticks that were on sale. This set us back thirteen dollars. On the way home we stopped at a garage sale and purchased two swiveling barstools, with cushions, for fifteen dollars each. Soon we were triumphantly waddling home under the weight of our new furnishings as Chloe explained to me that many people have the mistaken conception that city living requires a more refined appearance, that you must be dressed up to leave the house, when in fact it is only in cities that you are truly allowed to walk around in any kind of ridiculous get-up you want and everyone could really care less. Case in point.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Laurie permalink
    September 22, 2008 7:54 am

    Hey is there a picture that goes with “case in point”? I need to see what’s being worn by non Whidbey Island folk so I will be prepared next time I’m allowed to leave. Your blog is very entertaining. I’m also enjoying reading about Lucy’s travels. She has a blog called “onablindhorse” and her email is lucillehuffman@gmail.com. I think she is a mite lonely in terms of not knowing anyone in San Giovani and would love to hear from you. Did you know she ran into someone in Italy who had met you? At a Whidbey wedding I think. TTFN, happy trails, etc Laurie

  2. Kent McMIllan permalink
    September 23, 2008 5:23 am

    I started talking jibberish about how I wanted to either A. put fish in the vase or B. fill it with mustard.

    Now that IS a memorable choice of solutions to life’s central problem.

  3. September 23, 2008 2:32 pm

    Primo, how adorable is my Mom? Secondly, I love your blog. I’m totally linking you my friend.
    Also for photos when you’re putting up a new post there is a button at the top left of the text box that looks like a square inside a box (it’s supposed to be a picture) and when you click it you can add media/ choose files to upload. Hope that helps.
    And finally, I can’t believe you quoted Stuff White People Like; my friends have pointed out the post about white people loving to study abroad.

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