what is the quality of your intent?
Nothing much is going on down here, except that I am finally gainfully employed during the day. Yes, it took me two months almost to the day, but I have a real live full-time job as a receptionist at a law firm downtown.
The interview process was a bit strenuous and involved conversations with no fewer than four different people, each of whom inquired as to how I felt about being yelled at. My answer to this of course was that like any sane person I absolutely adore getting served (yeah it’s a lawyer pun) with my mistakes several times an hour. Then I was left in the glass walled conference room for what felt like an hour, but was probably more like 2 minutes. About 30 seconds in, I slumped over into a more comfortable position in the large leather chair, righted myself soon after at the realization that this might be a test. I wondered if they were watching me right now for signs of fatigue, so I sat ramrod straight and pretended to be doing complicated math equations in my head. I was reminded of that scene in Secretary when Maggie Gyllenhaal has to sit with her palms on her boss’ desk for like 48 hours as a sign of her devotion to him. Only there was no S&M going on here…or was there? Wasn’t that guy a lawyer too?
But still I sat, because I did after all need a job, so at least my mom will be able to relax and continue planning the many vacations she will take this year now that she doesn’t have to help with my exorbitant rent.
Today was my first day downtown and although I was feeling a little dubious about selling my soul for a desk on the 22nd floor it was actually not too bad. I was incredibly busy, and did many things that I do not yet understand, but the job might be more up my alley than I originally thought as I get to frequently use phrases like “billable hours” and “filing a motion at the discovery desk” and every once in awhile I throw in an “OBJECTION” just to keep those lawyers on their toes. But seriously, I actually got to go to the SF Superior Court and file important documents with the clerk. It was so Law & Order that even I couldn’t believe it.
At the end of the day I was called into the boss’ office for a little sit down and was told that 1. It was okay to be hyperventilating at this point 2. It was okay if today made me want to cry 3. I am allowed to drink copiously and throw up in his car at office functions. Touche.