adults are not allowed on playground unless accompanied by a child
It seems like everyone is so interested in everybody’s ethnic heritage. Josie for instance keeps asking me if I’m black Irish. Mostly at random moments when we’re walking down the street she’ll go, “You’re black Irish right?” and before I can even say that I don’t even know what that means she says, “As far as I’m concerned all white people with dark hair are black Irish,” and I tell her just to be annoying “But, Josie I’m not white, I’m Jewish-“
A few weeks back I was at the house of an old family friend, and there were these girls there who had recently moved to San Francisco from the East Coast, and somehow I got to talking about Twilight, and I just want to take this opportunity to stress that I am not Twilight’s biggest fan myself, I mean Bella Swan might be the most annoying character in the history of literature, but anyway then the conversation shifted to other vampire books, particularly Anne Rice’s, and one of the girls sighs and says, “The terrible thing about being an English Lit major is that I simply have no patience for bad writing.” I’m sitting there thinking that the real problem with being an English Lit major is that you can be 22 and start thinking that you can call Anne Rice a bad writer without ever having read her books, which this girl admittedly had not. The problem with being an English Lit major is that you start thinking that just by looking at a book you can discern its literary content, and you start to talk about TV shows like you’re slumming, unless of course you are talking about Arrested Development or Six Feet Under, which seem to be the only acceptable form of television. Just listen to people practically break down in tears over the fact that Arrested Development was cancelled after three seasons, you’d think that their neighborhood Trader Joes had burned down or something. If you want to form an instant and unbreakable bond with someone who looks like they went to college just say something like, “Remember the one where Buster thinks he went to Mexico, but actually he just went home with the maid,” and let me tell you, if this person is worth their weight in Converse they will love you forever. Believe me, it works every time.