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tape your mouth shut

January 31, 2009

Last night we went to a type of event that I believe is becoming popular with the upper middle class hipster set: The Art Show/Music Show in Small Clothing Boutique That Also Sells Skis Designed by Local Upper Middle Class/Hipster Artist.  There is the requisite open bar, read PBR from a keg, and the requisite local hip-hop act, read DJ with a microphone, and the requisite fashionably dirty crowd, which includes that guy who you were sure was homeless, but it turns out was just incredibly trendy. 

The art is well-executed, but the subject matter seems to only consist of large scale drawings of a woman who looks suspiciously like Angeline Jolie only with large blue wings exploding out of her eye sockets.  Touche. 

It was nice and warm and well-lit and I was enjoying talking to Carly one of the friends of my roommates who I don’t really see that often, but suddenly standing in line for my PBR I looked around, and got this sinking feeling in my stomach, What were we all doing there?  No one was looking at the art.  Everyone was looking at each other, as if there’s nothing better in the world to see than a room full of great-looking 20-somethings, which of course there isn’t.  But still, I mean even the man who I had been sure was homeless, was just another dreadlocked hipster in an American flag neckerchief.  It was vaguely depressing, like movies about the holocaust where everything looks way too clean.  Okay, movies about the holocaust are more than vaguely depressing, the next thing I wanted to say was that I’m trying to refer to the removal of real-life ugliness and grit, and realize again that I don’t want to bring the holocaust into this example, because I definitely don’t want to seem like I think death camps are romantic.  And we are done talking about the holocaust.  But I think you get my point.

But if you don’t here’s a better example, maybe.  It’s a game that I wish I could take credit for called, “iPhone, Bluetooth or Crazy?”  It used to be easy to distinguish people who were talking to themselves because they are crazy, and people who are talking into the person in their ear: the first was clearly dirty and haggard and the second was clearly a business person.  But just yesterday I had two incidents where someone who looks just like me, read well-dressed white kid, is walking toward me talking to themselves, and I don’t mean just muttering or counting on their fingers or something, but actually conversing enthusiastically and laughing out loud, and I tell you it’s throwing off my evolution, because my “get away from this crazy person” response which is designed to save my life is getting all confused by my “well-dressed white kids never hurt anyone response” and I end up just staring at them and blinking rapidly while my feet do the grapevine.  It’s all very embarrassing.

Did that clarify my point? I don’t think so either.

But the moral of the story is that I went home without saying goodbye to anyone, as I am known for doing, and crawled into my bed very tired I realized after a long week, and went to sleep.

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