i’m not a player i just crush a lot
For years I’ve been trying to figure out why people like text messages so much. Why are they responding to a call with a text? Why are entire relationships conducted on a 1” x 1” screen? Then I realized that it’s because texts are kind of like going back to the days of letter writing. And I know you’re thinking, yeah but what about emails? Well what about emails? I mean they’re creepy, everyone knows the only people who use the internet for romance are losers and pedophiles and that those words are synonymous. Internet dating? In the words of lolcats, “Bish pleez.” I mean it’s hip to leave thousands of inside jokes on your friends’ facebook walls, but that should really be the extent of your public internet usage.
Text messages are just so great because A. you can take them anywhere B. you can engage in them during work/class/jail C. you don’t have to respond immediately D. or ever E. you can get all sadistic and not respond for 3 days, and then act like you just got the message F. you never have to decide any of this immediately G. you can learn if someone is a qualified speller, if they like to make smiley faces like this :), or if they have an exclamation point fetish!!! H. You can find out if someone is going to actually attempt to put the word “sweet thang” into print. I. you can have soap opera conversations meaning a textual discussion about a mundane point that you can leave for 8 hours and then pick right up where you left off without missing a thing.
Talking on the phone is just too intense sometimes. As my roommate so eloquently put it, “We’re not ready for voice on voice,” and what she was talking about was her and that guy, but what she meant was the entire human race.
No, the collective we is not ready for voice on voice.