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robots in love

February 11, 2009

You know how much we love to pathologize people who don’t like us?  Crazy, passive-aggressive, alcoholic, borderline personality disorder, manic-depressive, insecure, shallow, boring, awkward, narcissistic, insensitive, uninspiring, tortured, depressed, annoying, anal-retentive, cruel, emotionally unavailable, I could go on, intent on using ALL the words I learned in college, but maybe the truth is that we only liked each other on every third day, and the problem is that on the seventh day we did not rest.    

Sometimes people aren’t in a bad mood, because they have PTSD or mommy issues or because they’re insecure about something that happened in third grade, sometimes they just don’t like you.  I know, we all like a mystery and what we like even more than a mystery is a mysterious mental defect that explains everything someone does, preferably someone who seems like they don’t like us, but it’s possible we’re making this both more and less complex than it really is.  Sometimes, it really is just early mornings, and coffee on your sweater, and fat jeans, and your ipod died again, and there’s a test coming up and you can’t study, because it’s so boring so you spend three hours thinking about studying and then you take a nap.  These are the reasons why you rolled your eyes at me this morning when I asked how to enlarge an image on the copier.  It is in fact that more uncommon person who will remain true to their diagnosis.  Most people change their minds completely every 5 hours, and each time they’re telling the truth. 

And I know I like people for the most inane reasons.  Chloe doesn’t like to wear goggles when she snowboards, and she prefers the ocean to swimming pools.  Brian read the poem I loved and smiled at the exact place where I would have smiled.  These are the things that just slay me.  Everything else is just milk on my sweater and a dead cellphone in my pocket.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. Kent McMIllan permalink
    February 11, 2009 7:58 am

    Well, just for the record, I don’t see a description of a type or tendency to behavior as any more pathological than saying that we are members of a species and have grown up in particular cultures that shape our expectations of how the world should be.

    So, one can either pretend that he or she is merely some interchangeable part in the human machine or can begin to account for some of the reasons why we mainly are not.

    Possibly there are somewhat less detached ways of making some observations that otherwise seem a bit like vivisection.

  2. Kent McMIllan permalink
    February 11, 2009 8:40 am

    It is in fact that more uncommon person who will remain true to their diagnosis. Most people change their minds completely every 5 hours, and each time they’re telling the truth.

    Hmmm. It’s true that the world will nearly always show one’s wrong ideas about it to be quite in error.

    Unfortunately, even wanting to be mistaken isn’t sometimes enough to defeat a persistent truth.

  3. Kent McMIllan permalink
    February 12, 2009 2:21 am

    If the comments section had an edit function, I’d replace some of what I’ve posted with this note that I hope explains things on a different level. This is sort of where I began as a reader, so it may not be a bad place to end.

    I knew and liked Sharon’s mother. I assume that you’ve heard the story of how she died. To me, it seemed both reckless and tragic. To this day, it puzzles me that someone would have such apparently poor judgment as to have put herself into that situation.

    When I read what her granddaughter (that would be you) had written about some of the similarly reckless things she has mentioned, it prompted me to remark. Evidently it was maladroit and possibly even worse. Sorry.

  4. Ramona permalink*
    February 12, 2009 5:31 pm

    i don’t know very much about her death.

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