I accidentally stopped listening to pop music.
So I dated this guy who was great and not great, among other things, just like all of us. He was and is an incredibly talented musician, among other things, and he loathed popular music although he would never admit to being an elitist, he pretty much considered the that the fact that I can appreciate a good Britney song to be the keystone in all of the (many) things that were wrong with me.
Even though we broke up almost 8 months ago, I just realized that I’ve been carrying around his opinions this whole time. When someone recently invited me to go see a reggae show my first response was I hate reggae, but I don’t hate reggae. He hates reggae.
When my roommates and I are getting ready to go out, which is a ritual that my ex could never understand. He thought it was some insane act of narcissism to spend more than five minutes picking out your outfit. He never got the fact that the whole getting dressed part is secondary. We could easily do that alone in our rooms with the doors closed. No, the reason that it takes a whole hour and is so carefully guarded is that it’s about drinking a glass of wine and listening to music as loud as possible, and talking. It’s social grooming. I mean monkeys do it. It’s in our DNA. So anyway, since I have the sweet speakers my roommates are always asking me to play the music and invariably they show up in my doorway, and go, “What is this music?” and I’m like, “This is a good song,” and they’re like, “Yeah, maybe to slit your wrists to.” At which point they come in and take over. I mean how could I have forgotten that getting ready to go out is not the time to listen to some obscure singer songwriter crying about the environment, not even if he does a mean accordion solo two-thirds in.
What we needed was not more cowbell, but more Rihanna.
Every minute an angel gets its wings, and someone else buys a Lady Gaga song on iTunes, and did you know that when you hold a seashell up to your ear its not the ocean you’re hearing but GaGa whispering sweetly, just dance/gonna be okay/da da doooooom.
If you too have gone off pop music, for whatever reason it’s okay, we’ll get back on the wagon together. We’ll take it slow, one incredibly catchy song at a time.