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life is a progression of broken attachments; if you’re lucky.

April 29, 2009


If you can run four miles with someone and still come home and be scolded by them for eating four pieces of their candy (sugar-free) I think it says something about your friendship, not necessarily a good thing, but something, and I’ve always been of the mindset that something is better than not-something. 

I guess I’d rather go too far than worry that I didn’t go far enough.  I don’t want anyone to ever look at my life/writing/hair color and think: she could’ve gone further with this. 

I had forgotten how nice it feels to run around large groups of people.  We jogged to the track at USF, where I tried to back out, not wanting to join the “running clubs” who had taken over, and were sprinting around on their ropy legs like gazelles or Giseles.

Luu looked at me and said, “It’s just running club.” Like this combination of words wasn’t even more terrifying than audience participation.  I tried to explain to her that I didn’t want to be part of any club that would have me as a member, but she was quick, assuring me that they would not. 

Luu suggested we alternate between sprinting and walking as many times as humanly possible, and Chloe suggested we just run 12 miles at a leisurely pace, and I hated them both immensely. 

But you know, once we got started things started to fall into place like finally getting to the eyes in one of those ridiculous polar bear in the snow jigsaw puzzles.  I don’t want to get all Jack London on myself (as I am prone to do) but I too felt the call of the wild.  Soon I was leaping around the track, not like a gazelle, but like a disabled bunny rabbit dealing with a bad combination of uppers.  It was exhilarating.  I bemoaned the loss of middle school cross-country.  The coach standing on the sidelines at the race urging you to kick those last hundred meters.  The nauseas feeling before the gun goes off.  The nauseas feeling as you cross the finish line and collapse in a pile on the soft grass. 

And then I felt like I understood something about humans that I hadn’t before, but I’m going to let you figure out what that is for yourself.  

One Comment leave one →
  1. Kent McMIllan permalink
    April 29, 2009 6:22 am

    And then I felt like I understood something about humans that I hadn’t before, but I’m going to let you figure out what that is for yourself.

    Well, does running constitute mammalian behavior, strictly speaking? I’m thinking not. So, then, what older part of the psyche does it appeal to?

    I’ve been pondering the work of a French psychiatrist named Clotaire Rapaille who went over to the Dark Side as a marketing consultant, helping large corporations sell stuff like PT Cruisers to people who didn’t realize that they intensely desired to have them. Rapaille views his essential task as being that of discovering how to present the product in a way that appeals to the most primitive parts of the brains of his mammalian subjects, the parts common to reptiles.

    Isn’t running basically flight behavior? After all, the object of all serious runners is to run away from something, usually the other, slower runners trying to catch them. Sounds reptilian to me. Sure, there are also the overtones of showing that the runner is in good physical shape. but that’s reptilian as well, this mammal would have to think.

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