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the basic premise of fruit is magic

May 5, 2009

Temping is great for a few reasons.  The main one is this: I go into a place and I have a week of free lunches, and I don’t mean that because I use the money I make to buy food at lunchtime.  No, what I’m talking about is office snacks.  Snack type comes pretty standard down in the financial district, and the keystones tend to be: cereal, specifically Honey Bunches of Oats, which is apparently America’s favorite pastime next to baseball and defaulting on home mortgage loans; some kind of trail mix, out of which some of the more health conscious people like to pick the M&M’s and throw them in the sink (I know this because I watch them do it); Diet Coke, which I can’t argue with; and those Nature Valley bars that your mom used to put in your lunch.  Well, my mom didn’t put them in my lunch, and not only because she didn’t make me lunch, but also because I’m from an island, where the only acceptable granola comes out of the bulk bin at the co-op. 

No, but seriously without office snacks I don’t know how I would survive.  I tend to get very dreamy at work, and find myself spending half the time either thinking about how great office snacks are or else planning my next office snack while sighing deeply.  The only way to cure this is with Honey Bunches of Oats, so someone is on to something and that person is not me. 

I seriously almost always get asked to hang pictures at these temp jobs.  I don’t know if my look just screams spatial ability, but let me tell you that beauty is only skin deep.  I can’t divide my way out of sandwich bag much less hang three pictures evenly on a wall.  As soon as people start talking about “bringing out the level” I know that I have exceeded my usefulness in this project.  I hang pictures on thumbtacks.  It took me literally 4 days to hang two pictures at my current job, and while two of those days may have been the weekend, I spent a lot of Saturday afternoon trying to figure out how to find the corner of a nickel.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kent McMIllan permalink
    May 5, 2009 9:55 pm

    Yes, hanging pictures is no longer taught at the undergraduate level in many liberal arts colleges. Too advanced.

    How to Hang Pictures

  2. Kent McMIllan permalink
    May 5, 2009 11:48 pm

    Here is the reason why Picture Hanging 101 is no longer offered to undergrads:

  3. Kent McMIllan permalink
    May 5, 2009 11:50 pm

    Actually, apparently this site doesn’t enable posting the reason why Picture Hanging 101 is no longer offered to undergrads, but it may be found at this link.

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