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Common sense is the ability to avoid getting killed in a variety of situations.

May 19, 2009

Have you taken a moment lately to think something along the lines of, “sweet baby jesus this is my life.”  And looking at one of those inspirational posters that say things like Freedom is my middle name below pictures of eagles, does not count.  What I mean is realizing that this is the last May 19, 2009 I will ever have.  This is difficult.  It’s almost impossible to start feeling magical about the present until years later, and have you ever tried to imagine what forever looks like?  I have.  You live for 80 years and then are dead for-e-ver.  Seems unfair.  Life is unfair or maybe it isn’t, but it seems like it is so it might as well be.  Maybe we all come back as princes or squirrels, but I’m not banking on it. 

Stop thinking around the corners of your feelings trying to figure out if you might actually be feeling some other way.  Seriously, save the meta-cognition for your Tweets.  Start doing what you want to do.  Eat a candy bar, but don’t eat six, because in my experience while one Whatchamacallit will vastly improve your quality of life, six will make you want to kill yourself.  Don’t let other people dictate what you should and should not do.  If you like going to sleep at 10 pm on the dot, then do it.  Don’t stay up all night just because everyone acts like they’re on some kind of personal scavenger hunt from God and the clues are only given out between the hours of 11 and 2am.  Stop wearing such tight jeans, unless of course tight jeans don’t irritate the hell out of you, then you should keep wearing them.  Remember, don’t take advice from other people.   Especially bloggers.  Bloggers are insane, and are all out of work investment bankers anyway.

People are always telling me how much they wish they could quit their job like I did, but then they say that they wouldn’t be as good at semi-unemployment as me, and I honestly want to say that I think they could do what I’m doing at least as well if not better, but I don’t because I don’t want everyone to know how great it is out here.  Also, most of these people have these things called student loans that they need to pay off at some insane rate, and I do not have those.  My college has been paid for and I am sincerely grateful, because at this point if someone asked me if it was worth it to go to college if they were going to accrue lots of debt I might have to say no, because what is the point of going to school if you’re just going to be forced to take the first job offered so you can pay for said schooling for the rest of your life?  College was great, but you can get your learning elsewhere, like from bloggers who went to college

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