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states of mind

August 21, 2009

Life is easier and also not easier if you just think of everything as a state of mind.  It’s also a good way to make friends because you can use this trick to make other people’s lives easier too.  The next time one of your friends is tired after a long week of work, and doesn’t want to go out with you on Friday night just look them in the eye and say, “Being tired is a state of mind.”  They’ll LOVE it, and will immediately think you are some kind of neurobiologist, and you kind of are if you think about it, because honestly being a neurobiologist is basically a mind state.  You know how teachers always told you that you could do anything that you put your mind to?  Well, turns out they were right. 

Pretty much anything can be a state of mind if you just say that it is, and that just goes to show the power of talking a lot, which if someone is really listening is kind of a state of mind too, because you can try to hynotize them. Even if they tell you that they aren’t hypnotized you can tell them that thinking they’re not hynotized is part of the hynosis, and this argument can seriously go on for hours.  It is kind of like real hypnosis because you’re controlling their mind by making them really irritated.

Sometimes people say things to me like, “I’m really hungover.”  And then I say, “Being hungover is a state of mind.” And then they don’t want to talk to me anymore that day, which is fine because I have other stuff to do.  Or if someone asks you a question and you don’t know the answer so you try to turn the question around on them and it doesn’t work, and they tell you that you don’t know the answer, you can tell them that maybe the real truth is that there is no answer, because that’s how they explained things in The Matrix.  This probably won’t confuse them as much as you want it to, but if you get confused then just tell them that being confused is a state of mind, and they’ll be like, “Yeah, I know,” and then both of your minds have pretty much come to a standstill, which is pretty much the point of hypnosis.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 21, 2009 1:49 pm

    That is extremely funny. At least in my state of mind it is.

  2. August 27, 2009 1:26 am

    “It is kind of like real hypnosis because you’re controlling their mind by making them really irritated.”

    I think that’s what Bill O’Reilly says to himself before each show. At least he says that if he knows I’ll be watching.

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