Philosophical Mug Shots: A College Student Explains Herself

So, apparently last night, I mean I guess what happened was, of course you can never prove anything in science, but according to some people I told my cousin that I was in love with him.  Can you believe that?  Honestly, I hardly can either.  It’s pretty much a rumor.  I guess it’s a rumor I started about myself, but everyone knows you can never trust a witness, especially if that witness was you.  I mean, I just can’t believe I would say something like that, but even if I did, it’s like what is so WRONG with that?  I’m an adult. I don’t have to buy into all this bourgie bullshit about how incest is so bad.  I mean, is there any proof of that?  Because I’m not the kind of person who just believes everything they hear on TV or everything that some scientist says.  You can never PROVE anything in science.  Doesn’t anyone know what the word theory means?  I realize that incest really messed up the Hapsburgs or whatever, but this isn’t Europe!  Am I right?  Yeah, I thought so.  I might get drunk sometimes, but I know what country I live in!  Anyway, how bad incest is probably really depends on how good-looking your cousin is, and quite frankly how drunk you are.  Has no one ever heard of the Theory of Relativity.  Albert Einstein pretty much proved that it’s okay to get with your relatives depending on the current speed of light in your state, and it’s like just because he was German people think they can totally ignore him.  If anyone should know about incest it’s a German, because that’s pretty much the foundation of what the Nazis meant when they talked about eugenics.  Maybe I am in love with my cousin, but does that really make me a Nazi?  I am so tired of everyone relating everything to the Holocaust.  I mean, it really makes me sick.