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the set up

October 24, 2009

There’s someone I really think you should meet.  He’s epileptic too.  Oh you’re not?  Then what were you doing over there on the dance floor?  Oh I see.  Yes, I do see.   He does that too, but they don’t call it dancing.  Perhaps something to take up with your doctor?

But regardless of whether you have epilepsy or not, he is seriously the greatest guy.  Unless you’re one of those people who has a crazy thing about molars.  Well, it was an unfortunate hunting accident.  I suppose it wasn’t really an accident as the officers had been instructed to shoot to kill, but still very unfortunate to lose your lower jaw that way.  You know what they say, “Crime don’t pay.”  Which isn’t really true all the time, but in his case it definitely was.  But that was years ago, and he’s a good example of how people can change so much that they aren’t even a glimmer of the person they used to be, and are actually not really a person at all anymore.

I’m not saying he’s like a robot or something.  He’s a real estate developer, really successful.  He’s got this great place on Chestnut.  Well I guess it’s not really “his” place, but his mom said he could stay there as long as he needs.  No, she doesn’t live there.  She’s in Marin now I think, not really sure, but that would be a good conversation starter between you two.  Him and his mom are super tight, and you know how they say you can tell a lot about a guy from his relationship with his mother.  No, no nothing Oedipal, well Oedipal-lite maybe, but what isn’t these days?  Well, I guess I see your point there, but I’m not here to judge him, just to set you guys up on a date.

He is really good looking though.  There’s something about losing half your face in an accident and then having it rebuilt with bones from your foot, that is so rugged, but like futuristic at the same time.  Have you ever seen Will Smith in I Am Legend?  Yeah, like that.  No, he doesn’t really look that much like Will Smith, but he has this very Will Smith essence.  Pretty hard to describe really, but you’ll see what I mean.  Yeah, I do think that’s part of the reason he hasn’t had a girlfriend in awhile.  Weak women just don’t know what to do with him, which is why I thought of you, because you’ve always struck me as more like a man.

I’m not saying he’s like gay gay, but you know how it is.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kent McMillan permalink
    October 25, 2009 1:50 am

    Between this and “passive aggressive game night at the dorm”, I can think of at least one reader who thinks you’re pioneering a new form here: the tug-of-way for the thread of the narrative. I’m wondering whether “very nice” is adequate. Probably not. Its the sort of post that makes the reader want to steal a smart car.

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