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when halloween costumes get awkward

October 29, 2009

When I got on the 21 last night, all hopped up on Zombieland, I immediately saw a woman whose face was painted to make her look like a ZOMBIE.  There I was, a newly accredited Zombie Hunter, and here was my first test.  I turned to Alex and said, “Zombie!!!!!”  Then we loaded our shotguns, and took her down like an insane combination of Woody Harrelson and that nerdy kid who stars in the movie.

Actually what we really did was chuckle quietly to ourselves, but what I’m saying is that it’s easy to take the Halloween thing too far, as in it’s okay to dress up as a Zombie Hunter, but it’s not okay to open fire on your fellow passengers, no matter how much you claim that Halloween is your favorite holiday.

Other ways you can take Halloween costumes too far are, in no particular order:

Getting a bunch of your friends to do Aryan Nation with you.

Any costume that involves anyone who was ever involved in a hate crime.  Do not go the Matthew Shepard route.

A slutty bumble bee/cat/tomato outfit that you then wear while selling your services on a street corner.  This is Halloween not a method acting class.  There is no need to venture deep into the psyche of your slutty bumblebee.

Mormon on a bicycle is okay.  Mentally disabled Mormon on a bicycle is not.

Unless it’s Sarah Palin, I would stay away from all costumes that parody the mentally disabled.

Slutty Joe Biden is funny.  Slutty Hitler is not.

Slutty anything is pretty played out, but if you must channel prostitute, Prude Hooker is a fresh take on the theme.

Navy Seal is good.  Bloody Sea Lion that was just shot down at the wharf is not.  Save it for a parade.

Any costume that involves live ammunition.

Unless that costume is Zombie Hunter, because killing zombies never gets awkward.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Alex permalink
    October 29, 2009 5:47 pm

    Good post, keep on truckin’.

    Even more awkward Halloween costumes:

    – “Sexy”undertaker (okay that ones kind of cool)
    – Overeager proctologist, use your imagination
    – Hasidic suicide bomber
    – Anything from Cats (the musical)

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