the apartment hunt
So I have a few things to show you that I think you’re going to be pretty interested in. No not big necessarily, but expensive! Well, what some people are doing these days is displaying their lease in a prominent place in the apartment so visitors know that although it’s very small and without even the most rudimentary of amenities you’re still paying twice your monthly income for it, which is why you had to get the 12th roommate.
The first space is in Hayes Valley. I know, lovely neighborhood. You’ll be within spitting distance of the trendiest shops and restaurants. Have you been to Suppenkuche? Yes, that’s how you pronounce it. I suppose not everyone can spend their Junior year in Germany. Anyway, back to the apartment, you do know how to pronounce that word right? I would say one of the biggest selling points of this property is the roof deck. The other rooms? Well for the price we discussed you only get the roof deck, but if you think about it the room possibilities up there are infinite, depending on how many tents you have. Think of it as a Kelty forest. Yes, very RENT, both literally and figuratively I suppose. A lot of people like the idea of sleeping, eating, bathing, changing, washing clothes, cooking, fighting with their roommates, or should we say roofmates (!) right under the stars.
When it rains? Well didn’t you say you have a full-time job? That might be a good place to stay when it rains. I’ve actually found that when people move into this neighborhood they tend to spend a lot more time at their jobs, whether it’s the one they already have or the one they have to get to pay for their Frjtz habit, so you’ll probably find yourself wishing you could be on your roof more than you think, and in that way it really becomes more like a vacation home.
The space is available now, and I think you and I can both see that it’s not going to be around for long. 30 days notice? Well, and I’m not going to berate you for not having the proper savings for a move of this magnitude, but we typically tell people that the move is going to cost no more than $10,000.00. Which when you factor in double rent, security deposit – which for a place like this is ¼ the cost of the building – pet deposit. Oh no it’s for everyone regardless of actual pet ownership. We find that, especially in the rooftop spaces, tenants tend to acquire animals whether they want to or not. And of course the $1000 Annoyance Fee, which is basically just some spending money for me. It does get very tiring showing these beautiful spaces over and over again to people who can’t really appreciate their inherent beauty and value.