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now you’ve got her attention

March 24, 2010

All I’m doing these days is waking up at 4 a.m. to the streetlight shining into my new window, and trying to get some perspective on my life or life in general, which is exactly what perspective on your own life is: life in general.

The fine weather makes me happier, at least in the mornings, when things seem if not probable then at least possible, and the 3 p.m. drowsiness isn’t even a dream, and I haven’t eaten my 16th mint from the large vase near my desk at work that is inextricably filled with wintergreen lifesavers.  I have been telling myself that mood should not be contingent on the weather, but am having a hard time committing.  So fun to be the person who makes these rules, so ridiculous to be the one who follows them.

Walking into my new apartment, which is only one floor below my old apartment, but a world away, I am struck by the idea that San Francisco is like Marilyn Monroe: if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. That’s rather good I think, I should write that down, and I do.  Several times.

Jack White told me that opportunity kills creativity and I think he’s right.  There was never a thing that was limitless that I wanted.  The only rule was no wishing for more wishes.  It is the constraints that make it sweet.

It’s spring again in San Francisco.  No small victory.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Kent McMillan permalink
    March 24, 2010 5:45 am

    I have been telling myself that mood should not be contingent on the weather, but am having a hard time committing.

    Is it really polite to sell the weather short? I mean, who are we as a species – speaking strictly in terms of heredity now and not of any person living or deceased whose estate may have an interest in the matter – to say that we evolved entirely at the mercy of the weather? I’m thinking that the real Art, such as it is, lies in knowing when the weather will be accomodating. But that’s, of course, me , and not Bill Gates.

  2. Kent McMillan permalink
    March 24, 2010 6:03 am

    To tell the truth, it isn’t Bill Gates and it most likely isn’t Steve Jobs, either. Jobs is in the women’s restroom at the moment – says it’s invariably cleaner, as I recall.

    Had he stuck around, though, most likely he would have insisted that we are as a species nearly entirely dependent upon the weather – that, the phase of the Moon, and whatever else shakes out with the yarrow sticks when there are fortunes to be told.

  3. March 25, 2010 1:15 am

    Do you still live on Hayes?
    Sometimes you can be grateful for your mood to be contingent on the weather. I remember days where just the smell of the spring in the morning was enough to keep me smiling until 4pm.
    It’s hard to accept, especially for smart, driven people, that so many things in our lives escape to our control.

    PS. I’m not a native speaker.

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