did you hear that?
I went camping last weekend for a friend’s birthday, which is a pretty nice event as far as friend’s birthdays go. We went down to Santa Cruz, very pretty, nice weather or whatever, but it’s like I don’t think I understand the appeal of camping. I mean nature I get. Being outside is nice for sure, but why do you have to stay out there all night? I mean it’s nice until the sun goes down (let’s go watch the sunset. There it goes, it’s down) and then it’s like well what the fuck do we do now, stare at things we can’t see in the dark? Marshmallows? Yeah that’ll keep you busy for about 10 minutes, and then it’s like okay guys I’m headed off to bed. I don’t care if it’s 8 o’clock I can’t see anything. And then you just lay there all night on the ground, and you can’t sleep for more than 5 minutes at a time, so the whole night you’re changing position like, “Yeah that feels okay. I could lay like this for a few minutes,” and then five minutes later you’re back at it, “Is that a stick? What is that?” You wake up at 6 a.m. because it’s really bright outside and noisy as shit. People think there’s a lot of noise pollution in cities, but have those people heard of BIRDS. Or else your camp neighbors, and this is always your neighbors and never you, have basically transferred their entire kitchen to their campsite and they have one of those huge square conference room tents and are making pancakes and eggs and bacon lattes on a griddle, and they’re sitting around reading the back of the Bisquick box or watching Shrek on a portable DVD player and that’s the thing about camping that’s what you do all day just the exact same thing you would do at home, only a lot more uncomfortably, and then you go to sleep on the ground. Like that was fun, I’m glad we did this.