3/4 length black spandex capris
The other day I was in this kind of posh spa thing in Pac Heights, and I usually just drop in and announce loudly that I am a REVIEWER from Citysearch and I am here to REVIEW. People typically could care less when I say something like this and kind of look at me and smile and then go back to their business, which is fine. But at this place I had apparently made this announcement to the owner. Of course I had no idea that she was the owner, because honestly she looked like she had just rolled out of bed at 6am to go to the gym but had missed and ended up at work at 1 in the afternoon: her hair was all mussed and in one of those high ponytails that looks like a fountain, and she was wearing a black warm-up suit with the vertical white stripes running all the way up the sides of both the pants and the jacket so you’re kind of not sure if it’s a jumpsuit or separates or what.
Why do women get so dressed up at night and literally not give a shit about what they look like during the day, when it’s LIGHT out. Judging by our daytime outfits (black ¾ length spandex capris) we are always either going to or coming from the gym. Do we do anything else? Yes, but we don’t want you to know what it is, and when we are in our gym clothes we are invisible like Harry Potter!
Men are totally taken in by this too. They’ll spend the whole night staring meaningfully into your eyes, take you home, and then the next morning will look at you in astonishment when you bounce out of bed already in your black 3/4 spandex capris, like, “How did you have time to be going to or coming from the gym already?” What they don’t know is that we wear those underneath our clothes AT ALL TIMES, because we just never know when it is going to be daytime and we are going to need to put them on.