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i have a schedule to keep too Ramona

November 10, 2008

I’m starting to think my air mattress must have a leak, because even though I pumped it up just a few days ago, waking from my nap this afternoon I found that I had sunk to heretofore unheard of depths.  I wonder if I’ll get silently folded into the bed while I’m sleeping one night and smother on the thick blue plastic. 

I met up with Josie near Haight Ashbery where her and her friend were getting lunch.  He was introduced to me as, “Ryan, from my supper club.” Josie is of course the kind of person who would have a supper club.  When I asked if I could join they both eyed me skeptically before saying that the club was on hiatus until the third member returns from a romantic tryst in Bali.  I’m starting to wonder if membership in the supper club guarantees that you will soon be taking 3 month long trips to tryst it out in Bali.  I need to infiltrate this little group.  Ryan is one of those good-looking gay men with a deadpan sense of humor that everyone wants to be friends with. 

We were on the subject of work, Ryan abstains of course as he is being put through a degree in Comparative Lit by his lawyer boyfriend.  Some people have all the luck.  He’s currently considering purchasing a modest apartment in Paris, where he will split the year.  Right.

Anyway, Ryan and Josie decide they should meet for lunch sometime since he lives near her work or something, I’ve kind of zoned out at this point, but am brought quickly back to attention when Josie mentions offhandedly that she can’t really eat lunch away from her desk.  When I ask why she takes a deep breath and reveals another reason why I wish I could abstain from the office.

Recently, when trying to get a file off her boss’ computer when the woman was out of the office Josie had accidentally stumbled across a document titled “Josie’s Progress.”  Opening it she found a list of the Pros and Cons of Josie’s employee abilities.  Pro: She has ability to multitask to complete large complicated projects. Con: Her laughter is too loud and can be heard through the walls of her office. Con: She doesn’t take notes when I talk to her. 

Josie explained that because of this list she had vowed to be the best employee this company had ever seen and had started beating her boss to work everyday and writing down everything she says with nods and verbal affirmations like, “I’m writing that down.  I’m writing that down right now,” and of course taking her lunch at her desk.  Ryan remarked that the fact that she has a loud chuckle isn’t really something she can help, to which Josie agrees saying, “I know I have a loud laugh, but you know when I cry it’s totally silent.”  Which I think rounds out the list nicely.

Pro: Josie’s tears are always shed at an office appropriate volume. 

Then we said goodbye to Ryan and walked back to Josie’s apartment.  It was on this walk that I learned that Josie does not like to wait at crosswalks and will throw herself across the street even if the blinking hand says only one second left until certain death.  These crossings were often prefaced with an enthusiastic cry of, “Here we come!” from Josie as she pushed me off the safety of the sidewalk. 

We stopped on our way home at Mojo, a bicycle repair shop/bar/coffee shop near my apartment.  I mean if San Francisco Hipsters go to heaven this is what it looks like.  Here we had the best hot chocolate I have ever experienced, and saw a man with a tattoo on his neck reading “Obama 08” which while I agree with the sentiment seemed a little too much like a bumper sticker. 

Then some other stuff happened and we went home, and now I’m sleepy.

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