a particular kind of hell
She would go slow, but the truth is she can make it the whole way like that. She had already decided how she was going to live, and if it seemed like she just wanted to get it over with, then that was fine because she had her own justifications and they made a lot of sense to her.
Hate is a cheap high. To name your dislike gives off a certain kind of energy, like love, only 10 times easier, and five times less interesting. As soon as I realized that no one was going to carry my emotional burdens for me I felt very alone. Feeling bad is all fine and good, but no one will ever care about how you feel as much as you want them to, and the only person whose thoughts you always occupy are your own.